Way back when I was sixteen years old I took part in a youth pre-college program that would further my skills and give me a college experience before the real thing. Through the course of my life I have been a very shy person, one who holds back and doesn't do more than I ever had to. I lived like this for the first fifteen years of my life, until I participated in the Pre-Collegiate Development Program summer program in 10th grade. That summer I decided to change my life, for better or for worse. What happened that summer changed my attitude and overall perception of life. That summer I was given many opportunities to change, but because I held back so much, I didn’t take any, until the end and with this last chance I knew I had to change and no time was better.
When I started the two-week summer program in the summer of 2004 I was the shy blonde white kid that always sat in the back and never spoke out for anything. There were always so many new people and so many new faces because of the vast number of students participating. I wanted to make friends, but like usual I kept to my self, which meant hardly talking to anyone. As time went on, slowly but surely, I made it. By the end of the first week, which seemed like an eternity, I thought it was smooth sailing, but little did I know what was in store for me later on. The second week of the program all of the teachers gave assignments that required each student to give oral speeches so that the students would interact with one another. I couldn't bear to even think about how bad I was going to choke when it was my turn, so I decided to do anything that I could to get out of participating. When it came time for me to read, I pretended I had a cold and that morning I had allergies so my nose was already runny. It was probably the stupidest thing I ever did to get out of an assignment, but it worked and all the teachers believed every last sniffle and sneeze! I continued to perfect my acting for the next week, right under the teacher's noses! As time progressed I mastered the art of illusion and schemed my way through many interactions. Finally the last day of the program was almost in grasp. I anticipated it to be the worst, but this day was different. I woke up feeling refreshed and very talkative almost as if I had a new view on life. I felt like a whole new person as my day progressed although my time of judgment was soon at hand. I casually had conversations with people I never even glanced at, I ate lunch with people I had never even seen, I even threw my self into random discussions with out any worries. Not knowing what was in store for later, I continued in my new up beat mood.
It was the last few days of the Pre-Collegiate Development Program before it came to an end and I made my way to school as usual. Once again when I got there I felt like a totally different person. Even my friends noticed that I was becoming more energetic and talkative as I participated in various activities that I would normally distance myself at any cost. I found my way to the Tivoli Turn Hall where the whole sophomore class was to meet. That day the TA's planned a "day of fun" as they would call it for all the sophomores in the program. All the second year students were separated into groups and then we played a few games to lighten the mood. Then the TA's, Teacher Assistants, announced a new activity. They said that all the groups were to perform a play about something that happened during the summer program. It could have been about anything, as long as it was appropriate. One TA that our group knew the best also seemed to be the best candidate to make fun of, his name was Son. Son was a really cool guy and a nice TA. He helped everyone out when ever he could with what ever they needed. There was one characteristic of Son's that stood out the most and made him very distinguishable. He had an extremely high pitch voice which could be heard from just about anywhere. My group decided that I should play the part of Son and as soon as they said that, a sharp fear shot through my bones sending a heavy chill down my spine. My group did no planning or anything of that sort. We were just going to “wing it” and get up there just to get it over with as soon as we could. The very moment that I was given the microphone, I had a flash back of my life.
I was tired of keeping to myself, hiding, and just tired of being who I was, so right then and there I decided to overcome my fear by speaking in front of the whole sophomore class. The TA's told us to begin our skit and I started talking, but instead of just regularly talking I spoke in the highest pitch voice that I could so I could mimic Son. After I got a few lines out I heard laughter from the crowd. I gazed out and all my friends were wide-eyed in misbelieve of what I was doing. After a while more and more people began to laugh and the more laughter I heard, the more I was compelled to change. Before long it was all over and everyone was bright red from laughing so hard. I had never felt so joyous in my entire life because I knew that I just changed who I was, I broke out of my shell and exposed who I really was.
I became the person who I am today because of the summer of 2004. I changed my life, my views, everything I knew and everything I was.(Small survey BE HONEST.) Tabula Rasa, as it is called, a word meaning a cleaned slate, a chance for new beginnings. I re-invented myself that day and it was for the best. Now I am not afraid to go and talk to new people, make new friends, or speak in front of people, well I do get really RED but that is it! I am not afraid to be my self and I am becoming the person that I should have been the first fifteen years of my life.
